Dear James, where do i start..
Saw you before you left Abidjan. We had drinks and would discuss our future plans as usual. And as usual, you would say the funniest things. That was the last time we saw each other. Then just a few days ago, we spoke a few hours before you got on your way to Douala. Then i learn you died. I thought it was one of your jokes once again, and i was about to write you on WhatsApp to tell you it’s not funny to spread such bad news. Only to learn it was unfortunately true.
I still yet have to realize, it’ll take me some time. It still looks and sounds so unreal. I’ve been trying to repeat the news to myself but it still sounds weird, too weird to deal with it.
It’s so unfair. No one deserves to die, but you were too young, too brilliant, you still had too many things to accomplish to go now. I can only imagine what your mother that you loved so much is going through, as well as your family, friends and colleagues.
Death of loved ones always terrified me as it’s a pain that has no cure. And also because it’s a bitter lesson on how fragile and small we are as living beings.. when we sometimes tend to believe life is owed to us.
How can you be here with us, a part of us, and the next minute, you are gone forever? How can you let us with so many unanswered questions? And most importantly, why now? My questions are senseless and useless, they won’t bring you back unfortunately.
I’m so deeply mad, sad and heartbroken i won’t be there to tell you a last goodbye.. but in your honor, i will make sure i live & love to the fullest without delaying things as if i mastered the time of my own death.
May your beautifully strong soul rest in peace, i will miss you.